I haven’t been single in years, so why do I feel so awful about myself?  Nobody wants will hire me.  I’m not even worthy of a “thank you for your interest in the position” email.  There are more job seekers than ever before and the pickings are slim. I know, I know, it’s an employers market – Craigslist is to Match.com as Monster is eHarmony. No more thinking outside of the box, no more creative hiring.

This means you start lowering your standards, and all of a sudden the 22 yr. old manager at Steve Madden has the audacity to ponder whether or not you can handle the job with your limited retail experience.  You’re baffled, mystified, you’ve been trying on shoes since before she was born and she wonders if you can ask people their size and restock shelves. You have a MASTERS DEGREE (from an Ivy, no less).  But you haven’t worked in a store since 1999, she reminds you.

Rejection.

In 1999 this girl was 12,  I was a sales associate at Victoria’s Secret, and a junior in college.  If only the old me could have known:

1. Don’t buy those lotions and panties.
2. SAVE that money, SAVE all the money you can. Always save.
3. It’s going to be hard.
4. Suze Orman will NOT be able to get you out of debt.
5. Your Ivy League degree will be nice for your parents to brag about, but impossible for you to pay for.
6. There will be NO jobs for artsy people.
7. SAVE your money, be frugal.
8. Marry rich Become a lawyer doctor.