Admittedly, I’m not exactly suited for a life of crime – breaking limbs, bumping people off,  not really my thing.  But I’m a broke girl, with broke girl problems and sometimes a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.  And so my foray into crime begins with a robbery of sorts.

Every 1st of the month, for the last 5 months has been… difficult to say the least.  This is the day that I realize I’m not working and the bills still NEED to be paid.  Now, I’m no math wiz, but it’s a pretty simple equation: no money in = no money.  There’s no time for self loathing reprimanding, (yes, I know I should have prepared for this, but I was blindsided!!!!!!!!!!) one has to start making some tough decisions.

Mom, Dad? Already, used that lifeline last month… Babe? What’s that, you can’t afford to pay my rent and yours… Is hOOters hiring? Oh, I need hOOters for that?… Hey Peter? Pete, Peteykins, think I could borrow a few?

Peter, who loans me money from time to time,  has a lot of it, so I usually hit him up for my big debt, like the one I have with Paul. It started innocently enough, borrowing a little from Peter here, a little from Peter there.  So maybe I got ahead of myself, maybe I took a little more than I asked for.  He never even noticed.  But this is what I mean when I say I’m not suited for a life of crime.  I began to rely on taking Peter’s money to pay Paul (Tom… Dick… Harry… you get where I’m going with this).  And I uh… ehh…

I. robbed. Peter. blind.

It happened so quickly.  You have to believe me,  I didn’t mean to take all his money, especially considering that every month I’m going to have to pay it back with 27.99 percent interest.

*sigh

Let’s evaluate the damage: I’m still broke. I now owe Peter. I still owe Paul. I still owe Tom. I still owe Dick. I still owe Harry.

It’s the 1st of the month.  And lest we forget, the rent is due… think I could borrow a few?